Tag Archives: everyday life

Living between two cultures – sometimes it feels like this!

Living between two cultures, what does it feel like?

I have not written much about this subject, but now that we have just returned home after spending a month in my home country, I want to share my thoughts about what it is like to live between two cultures, between France and Finland.

In a way I feel like I’m having an affair with my home country. Secretly I start to miss it every three months. In fact, according to my husband, I want to go to Finland every different season. Before Christmas I start to talk about a little autumn break in the north, then of course for Christmas we have to go to my hometown and experience the real winter. And then it is too long to wait for the summer to come. Again I start to ask: Can we go for a quick spring break? And then there is the Finnish summer – nightless nights, all that light and greenness – where else you can experience that than in a Nordic country?

Concretely, living between two cultures feels like this (or this is how I felt last week when we returned to Paris after spending a long period in Finland):

Firstly, our home felt strange and familiar at the same time. I kept opening drawers to find the scissors. The doors seemed to open in the wrong direction. And when I’m tired I start to mix Finnish and French. At the supermarket I said to the cashier “thanks” in Finnish. Merci, I tried to correct, embarrassed.

In the morning I secretly miss Finnish filter coffee “Kulta Katriina”, even when I have that perfect cappuccino in front of me.

Then there is always the moment when you feel lost because the routines that you kept in the other country, don’t work in the other. For example, in Finland I used to go for a walk with my daughter before the lunch hour. And afterwards she slept a couple of hours outside in pram. That does not work here! When we try to go step outside it starts to rain and she is not content. Besides, those daily walks are not so relaxing when the streets in Paris are too narrow even for a small pram. I return home and say to my husband: In Finland there are big snowflakes coming down – how lovely is that?!

The first week back is always difficult, and not only for myself, but for my husband, who has to listen to my complaining. And it’s the other way around when we go to Finland. I am sure this typical for bicultural couples. The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Then a week goes by and then comes another one, and the everyday life gets you, and you just do what you have to do. The noise of scooters going by, the French language, your favorite bread at the local boulangerie and that Parisian life start to seem normal to you again.

And when life gets too hard, there are always those other Finns that live just around the corner, and they know precisely how you feel – the good and the bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holiday is where your home is

Vielä muutama vuosi sitten haaveilin matkalaukkuelämästä: siitä että tiedossa häämöttäisi aina uusi maa, uusi kaupunki, uusi kulttuuri. Tai työstä, jossa pääsisi matkustamaan mahdollisimman paljon. En enää. Todellisuudessa jatkuvasti paikasta toiseen siirtyminen ja matkalaukkujen pakkaaminen on niin uuvuttavaa, että sana “loma” harvoin linkittyy matkalaukkuelämään – etenkään lapsiperheen kohdalla.

Kahden kuukauden reissaamisen aikana olemme pakanneet ja tyhjentäneet matkalaukkumme lähes kymmenen kertaa. Suomen-reissulla meillä oli eri majapaikkoja, joten toisinaan kävi niin, että matkalaukut ehti avata ja niistä sitten kiskottiin kiireessä puhtaita (lue: matkalaukussa ummehtuneita) vaatteita ja paineltiin suoraan illallistreffeille tai milloin minnekin. Kun sitten viimein pääsimme kotiin, totesimme kumpikin: ei vähään aikaan minnekään! Häämatka saa hetken odottaa.

Tajusin, että loma tarkoittaa meille sitä, että ollaan ihan vain kotona ja nautitaan siitä kivasta arjesta omine rutiineineen. Tämä lienee paras oivallus hetkeen, sillä siihen kulminoituu ajatus, että kaikki on hyvin juuri nyt. Edessä ei tarvitse häämöttää seuraavaa lomamatkaa, jonka voimin jaksaa rämpiä sen harmaan arjen, vaan se arki itsessään on jo ihanaa seikkailua. Nautin arkisista askareista: pyykinpesusta, omassa keittiössä puuhailusta, siivoamisesta, kaupassa käynnistä ja tietysti Pariisissa harhailusta rattaiden kanssa.

Haastavaahan se arki on toisinaan, tai oikeastaan usein, mutta oikeassa tiimissä jaksaa nauraa kaikelle: porkkanatahraisille vaatteille, uudelle paidalle oksennetuille maitotahroille ja jopa sille, ettei koskaan enää ehdi tehdä mitään.

Tai nyt huijaan, kuvat kertovat, että ehdin viettää jonninjoutavan hetken Grazia-lehden parissa. Hyvä niin.

Eläköön arki!

(Note: aina arkena ei kuitenkaan ehdi meikata, kuten kuvista näkyy.)

When I was younger, I dreamed about a life in which I could travel a lot. To visit new countries, new cities and to get to know new cultures. Always on the road – that would be cool, I thought. Or a job that allows you to travel a lot.

I disagree with the younger version of myself. Today I would say that everyone will get tired of traveling all the time at some point, and an in-between life is just a passage where you don’t want to be too long.

During the past two months of traveling in France and in Finland, I realized how tiring it is to change location and to pack and unpack your suitcases all the time. Especially from the point of view of a mother.

So after packing the suitcases for the 10th time and then heading back to home, I realized that this is kind a holiday for us: just being at home. Even though it does mean that I have less help, when I don’t have my mother around and my husband is doing his normal working hours, but still: the pleasure of doing laundry, cooking, cleaning and walking around in Paris. Of course our everyday life is intense like for most families. But when you are in the right team, all that mess and milk stains on your favorite shirt will make you laugh after all.

And when you say you never have time for yourself, it is not true… it is a question of point of view. Even ten minutes is a moment that you can use for drinking a cup of coffee or doing like me: for reading a magazine in silence. (Or maybe I am just dreaming.)

Note: A busy mother doesn’t always have time to put some makeup on, not even for the photos, and especially not when there is 30 degrees outside.